Better Days Ahead
Several months ago, I was ordering tile in one of the stores in Berkeley, and I saw a bottle on the table of my sales rep with the label on it: Better Days Ahead. Just like this one. My first thought was: what a great optimistic slogan! But is it?
Our first reaction could often be wrong after looking closer at the problem or situation that appeared before us. Better Days Ahead. After I read that sticker, I looked at the bottle’s owner. She was a nice, good-looking young woman, and I thought to myself: she probably has a hard life if she has to remind herself that it doesn’t matter how hard it is today, tomorrow will be better. And then I thought how often we are using all kinds of optimistic slogans and sayings that on the surface are supposed to help us with our everyday struggle but, in fact, are spiritual patches we are trying to apply to our emotional wounds. Better Days Ahead. What do people are really mean when they are saying it?
That today is hard. Today I am unhappy. Today I am upset. Today I am unwell. But someday in the future, I will be better.
It is a projection of your well-being and happiness to the future that suppose to help us overcome our everyday struggles. Slogans like this are widely accepted and promoted in our society, and for someone, they could be helpful to go by their miserable days. But eventually, they will fail and fall off, like the bandages from the wounds that became too big.
Better Days Ahead. This notion is a false narrative that you are using to project your happiness to the future that could never happen. And not just that. It is in an attempt to withdraw yourself from your current situation. Perhaps you are running away from your emotional condition. It is like you are taking a pill and still trying to move on with your everyday life rather than seriously look at yourself, address the issues, whatever they are.
True happiness could be found only in a Now, in a present moment. Yes, you can make yourself feel better when you mentally transfer yourself to the past to remember happy memories or fantasize about what will happen to you in the future. It could help you go through your day. But it can not really improve the quality of our everyday life.
Better Days Ahead. Let me tell you a story. Six months ago, my wife and I decided to travel and spend several days in Portland, Oregon. We had never been there before, and we were both excited about that trip. We made all reservations way in advance, carefully planning that vacation. But it started all together, not how we are anticipated. Our flight was delayed for a few hours. And then for another few. And then for another. By the time we landed at Portland airport was almost 11 pm. We are supposed to be there at 3. And then we found out that our rental car company wasn’t located in the airport, we had to take a shuttle, but the bus was nowhere to be found. One hour later, we finally got our rental car, and by 1 am we got ourselves into the hotel. After listening to our travel story, the night clerk was very accommodating and upgraded us to a better room. But when we got into the room, I heard a loud noise, and when I looked into the window, I saw a music band performing across the street and people were dancing and having a good time. I decided to return to the front desk and ask for another room. By 2 am we finally fall asleep in a different quiet room, and I remember thinking about that day with awe and wonder. It is an excellent example of how our expectations may not match the reality we will experience.
Every day we are facing constant uncertainty. We are making plans; we know how things should work, how people should act, how events should unfold in front of us. But very often, the reality does not match our expectations. We consistently have to deal with other people, with tasks we have to perform, with things that go wrong. It is the reality we live in, and you can not run away from it. So, what can we do? Of course, we can cheer ourselves up with empty promises such as Better Days Ahead, but there are other ways to deal with it.
First, you have to look at yourself. What is your emotional state? What are you radiating and projecting around you? Is it peace, happiness, tranquility, or anger, frustration, and worries?
Believe it or not, our natural emotional condition is to be calm and happy.
When I say happy, I do not mean that we have to smile and jump up and down with joy all the time. No, happy is to being content.
Every day we go around and make choices. From time to time, we face something unexpected in our lives, sometimes even unpleasant, uncomfortable, or upsetting. And when you do, ask yourself a question: what are my choices? Do I choose to be upset or get angry — and rightly so — or do I want to look at this situation a little bit differently. Step away from it, perhaps, do not jump to conclusions right away. You can say: wow, interesting how my universe unfolds in front of me now! Am I making the right choice here? What else is available for me? Is it the right path for me to take, or should I look for another one? Make a pause between the event and your reaction to it.
I know it is not easy. Here is a simple spiritual technic you can use that will help you along the way. It called Ho’oponopono. It is a Hawaiian spiritual practice, and it goes like this. Focus on whatever difficult situations or negative feelings you have and say:
I am sorry; please forgive me; I thank you; I love you.
Not ones, not twice, but several times. Say it out loud so you can hear your voice. I will explain how and why it works in one of my future articles, but for now, repeat it with me: I am sorry; please forgive me; I thank you; I love you. I am sure if you will be ownest with yourself and open to new possibilities, the reality that you are living in will adjust itself and allow you to overcome your current obstacles so you can move forward with ease and happiness.
Better days ahead. Oh, I am absolutely sure they are. That is why I do not need to remind myself about it. But there will be tough days ahead too. But I am not afraid or worried about them either. Remember?
I am sorry, please forgive me, I thank you, I love you.
